


Blended By The Lights

by Hagoofygoober



Category: Breaking Bad
Genre: M/M, Masturbation, Phone Sex, butt-dialing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-06
Updated: 2015-06-06
Packaged: 2018-04-03 05:44:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4089145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hagoofygoober/pseuds/Hagoofygoober
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jesse, after being pissed due to a long day's cooking, decides to cool down by smoking a bit, and accidentally butt-dials Saul in his 'personal time.'</p><p>Takes place in the better times of Season 3.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blended By The Lights

Jesse plopped down on his bed, upset about the events that had happened earlier that day. He sighed long and heavy, relieving himself from the stress of Walt's constant harassment. Irritated, he pulled out his throw-away phone from his pocket. Walt had warned him to be extra careful as of lately, Gus being more suspicious of their actions than usual, and Jesse, not risking, you know, dying, followed this advice. The phone was a weird one, having both the screen and the keypad on the front of it; Saul had given it to him that morning, putting few contacts into it prior to giving it to Jesse's handling. Jesse checked to see if there were any calls he'd missed, and, much to his surprise, he'd received a call from Saul. The irony, he thought, of how Saul called Jesse was hilarious. Jesse didn't feel like Saul's shit though, not after having to deal with that ass today. He'd call Saul back later. Placing the phone in his back jean pocket, Jesse slumped back against his pillows, recalling the actions of himself and his partner that day.

He was steamed, which was mostly because Mr. White was being an ass to him for most of the day. It seemed like whatever Jesse did during the cook, it was wrong. It was either too much or too little of an ingredient, and for some reason, Mr. White got real pissed at every little mishap Jesse had. Yes, Jesse understood he was on edge with his wife, or rather ex-wife, filing a divorce, due to Mr. White's rash actions he'd made recently, but that didn't mean he had to take out his rage on Jesse. 

And Walt understood Jesse's situation as well, only losing Jane a couple months prior was hard. He knew what it was like to lose someone close in your life. Walt honestly didn't mean to be harsh on Jesse that day, it was just the events in his life that were happening; he didn't mean to hurt Jesse in any way. Inside, Jesse knew that most likely, but it just rubbed him the wrong way.

Irritated, he turned on the TV and rolled a blunt, carefully placing it in between his wet lips. He took a puff and remembered how long it had been since he actually smoked some. He figured it would be alright to get a little high, it wouldn't do much to him. 

It was late, so the same lame-ass commercials ran longer than usual, or at least, that's what it felt like. He had it on some old movie, black and white, and honestly, he hadn't a clue what it was about. Maybe it was because he was buzzed, maybe not, but somehow, and he couldn't remember how, the channel changed. He supposed he sat down on the remote, but a commercial rang through his house, echoing: "Having legal trouble? Better Call Saul." The older man pointing towards the screen, a smile planted on his face. Jesse saw this and practically barfed on himself. It wasn't that he didn't like Saul, it was only that he knew how fake those commercials were, how they were such bullshit. Saul was one of the only persons as of recently that treated Jesse right, of course Jesse liked the guy, but no one likes crappy commercials with cheesy effects.

Saul spoke more on the TV, talking more of different kinds of troubles you could get in, and, damn, Jesse had tuned out, only listening to Saul's tone of voice. Saul's voice got to him. Something about his raspy vocal chords scratching against his throat somewhat turned Jesse on as much as he hated to admit it. And he tried not to think anything about it, he really did, but when Saul talked to him for countless hours about their business, Jesse found it hard to concentrate because he was more focusing on Saul's movements and his voice rather than their actual business. 

Jesse snapped out of it, turning his attention once again to the TV, which, much to his surprise, was playing yet another Saul commercial; Jesse couldn't help himself. It was the perfect combination in his opinion: Being high and jacking off.

But it wasn't because Saul's commercial was on, with Saul's voice extra peppy and low, no siree, it was only because Jesse felt like being relaxed and all, nothing else.

He unbuckled his belt, the metal clanging around loudly, then unzipped his jeans, lowering them along with his boxers slightly, revealing his semi-hard dick. He bit his lower lip, almost causing it to bleed. He raised himself up to a more comfortable position against his pillow, then closed his eyes, spit on his hand, and placed his hand around his length, starting to stroke slowly and smoothly. His eyelids opened to reveal Saul pointing once again to the screen, and all of a sudden Jesse brought his hand up and down faster than before. He moaned, whispering fuck's, and shit's everywhere. He didn't know why him masturbating was feeling so good at that time.

His eyes focused on the screen again, Saul's witty smile flashing at Jesse, and then he squealed Saul's name, grasping for air to fill his lungs as he stared at Saul on his TV. He gasped, his breath fastening as he bucked his hips upwards; he was close already. He flicked his head back, mouth opening ever so slightly. He felt it rumbling in his stomach, face red from breathing so heavily. He looked to the screen again and only heard the words "Better Call Saul!" being outbursted by the man. Then he came, blowing his load all about his stomach, slightly disgusted by the goo surrounding the grey fabric on his shirt. He pumped himself a few more times, riding out the orgasm for as long as he could, shivering from the pleasure releasing throughout his body. He then removed his hand from his cock and leaned back with his mouth opened, breathing heavily.

He felt weak because there was a lot more jizz than he'd expected. He tried to concentrate on the situation at hand, then heaved out heavy breaths, the commercial ending. He looked about the room, dizzy and seeing stars. He didn't come because of Saul, that was stupid. It was simply because he was, like, thinking about sex. Yeah, that was it; not because Saul's face was on his mind, because it wasn't. Nope.

Jesse relaxed, that was for sure, a grin painting his face slowly. That was a very good orgasm, the best one in while. He then leaned his head back, licking his lips, as well as scanning the room to find that a towel was scattered about next to him. The boy cleaned the mess he caused on his shirt, noting that he should most likely wash it soon. Jesse sighed and turned off the TV, thinking about his actions. He brought his shirt above his head, tossing it to the side along with the towel. Before he slid his jeans all the way down, he remembered his phone was still in his back pocket. Seeping his hand into the pocket to fish out the phone, he decided to maybe give Saul a call back; that it would hopefully relieve him from 'scarring images' he'd pictured of his lawyer. He pressed a button on the keypad to try and turn it on, then realized there was already an ongoing call. He panicked when he read the name of the contact.

Saul Goodman.

Jesse, who was nervous that Saul had been listening in on him the whole time, placed the phone gently to his ear, muttering the word: "Hello?" And he knew Saul was there, he fucking knew, because he could hear a slight hitch in breathing on the other end of the line.

"Did you just touch yourself while watching my commercial?" Jesse was sure he heard the statement crystal clear, but felt no obligation to reply. "Because I'm sure that's the first I've heard of that, and, of course, I get to hear it first-hand," He paused. "Lucky me," Jesse sighed, causing Saul to grimace somewhat, but the man was slightly embarrassed. "And did I hear you moan my name? I'm very flattered, mind you."

"I wasn't jerkin' off to you or whatever, man. I was just, like, saying your name, okay?" He rubbed his face roughly with his free hand because Jesse knew Saul didn't believe a word he said, and he was ready for Saul's sarcasm and insults to fly his way.

"Pretty sure the light slapping of skin I heard wasn't you playing patty cake with your dick," He stopped, then reconsidered. "Well, I mean you could put it that way, but-"

"Jesus, Saul, just stop," Jesse called out, his face madly blushing. "You got me. I was jerkin', but, like, it wasn't because of you or anything," Jesse stopped, hoping Saul would remark with a witty comment to make Jesse feel less awkward, but silence filled both ends, Jesse figuring he should most likely testify for himself. "Okay, your commercial might have or might not have been on, and maybe I just saw you and said your name or something. Like when you see your dad and you know he's your dad. A force of habit, right?" He thought of the statement. Saul grimaced on his end. "Wait, no, not like I say your name a lot when I'm jerkin' off, I just," His words trailed off somewhere. "Okay, I feel like you're judging me right now and I feel very uncomfortable and awkward and embarrassed, so would you just say something before I lose it?" 

Saul grinned before answering. "Look, kid, I don't mind whatever kinks you have, whether it be me saying my motto, or me sweet talkin' you, but I'm your lawyer. Not some phone sex buddy you call up every now and then to talk dirty to."

"I didn't- I wasn't- it wasn't like I called you on purpose. It was a butt-dial, nothing else," Jesse was flustered. He didn't know how to respond or how to react. It didn't seem real, the whole situation. He pondered the events and came to the conclusion that the only way he could get out of the situation was to laugh it off. He took a deep breath and while releasing said: "Besides, I wouldn't ever have phone sex with a crusty, old geezer like you," You could practically hear the smirk crawling on Jesse's face. "I could do so much better."

You could hear Saul's offended gasp on the other end. "I like to call it experienced. But, hey, I was the master at phone sex back then. Don't underestimate me."

"Oh, really?" Jesse said in an almost tempting tone, seemingly pressing Saul on the matter. Really he just wanted to try and embarrass Saul to the point where maybe the man would be so flustered that he wouldn't bring this up with anyone. But Jesse knew making Saul tongue-tied was a whole challenge in itself.

"Yes, really," Saul got kind of defensive. He wanted to tell the kid of some examples of how he was amazing at phone sex with an old friend he knew but figured that would be an awkward predicament. But Saul was flattered that Jesse moaned his name, he really was, but at the same time it was like what the fuck does this kid do in his spare time, masturbate to his lawyer's voice? That didn't sound too appealing. The two were silenced, but you could feel how proud Jesse was to shut Saul up.

Saul rubbed his face roughly with his hand. He stared down at the white t-shirt among his body then to his plaid boxers. Then, as bad as it was, he got an idea. An idea that would make Jesse shut up for an eternity, hell, if Saul was lucky, Jesse might be too embarrassed to not even talk to him for a few weeks. Saul would prove himself to the kid, he honestly didn't have anything to lose. What was he gonna do, sue him? 

"What are you wearing?" Saul practically laughed the line out, but kept his voice low and raspy. Jesse didn't know if he understood him correctly though.

"Wh-what?" He stuttered it out, surprised and confused of what Saul was planning.

"What are you wearing?" Saul repeated himself with a more confident attitude, then: "Or would you prefer me ask how big your dick is?"

That's when Jesse had no idea of what was going on, more so than before, that is. "Um," And that's all he could even mutter out because all he could do was make words out of vowels, and a consonant every now and then if he was lucky. But he managed to muster out the sentence: "I have jeans on? I got 'em a few days ago. They look ni-"

"Oh, my god, Jesse. Have you even had phone sex before?" Saul chuckled- he fucking chuckled at Jesse. "When a guy asks in a husky voice 'What are you wearing?', you don't say 'Oh you know, jeans. They look very nice.' Jesus, kid, these are the basics; I can't even imagine what'd you do if I went hardcore on you," Pause. "Don't take that another way."

"H-hell yeah I've had phone sex before," Jesse yelled, a hint of nervous laughter following the line. "But, like, not with a dude?" He questioned how he got into the situation for a moment then sighed. As he said before he didn't feel like Saul's shit, and this was definitely crossing the line. "But, like, why are you doing this? You don't have to teach me how to have phone sex. I know how to have phone sex," He hesitated before he added "Bitch."

"Kid, I'm just joking with you. It was a joke," Saul tried to salvage his previous remarks. "But seriously, imagine a big co-"

"Okay, I'm going to sleep." Jesse was done, just done with Saul.

"What, you're finished already?" Saul asked, glancing at his clock. "That was, at the most, thirty seconds." 

Jesse let out a deep breath, calming down a bit. "Bye, Saul," He pushed the phone away from his ear, ready to end the call.

"Wait, wait, wait," Saul said frantically, needing Jesse at the moment, and Jesse gave in, placing the phone to his ear again.

"What?" He replied in an angry tune.  


"Okay, kid. I'm sorry."

"Did I just hear those words from Saul Goodman's lips?" Jesse legitimately sounded surprised.

"Hey, you should be the one saying sorry to me. You did masturbate right in my ear, and you moaned my name. I'm touched truly, but I shouldn't be the one apologizing." Saul said irritated. 

Jesse exhaled and began. "How about we just never talk about this with anyone? Because that seems like the best choice. Wouldn't want the world knowing you tried to talk dirty to one of your clients, yeah?" Jesse didn't mean to sound threatening towards Saul, but he did at the same time. If this ever got out, nobody would ever let the two live it down. Jesse hoped Saul would agree, but keeping Saul's mouth shut was a most difficult task; Saul didn't answer for a long time. "Hey, you asleep, old man?"

"Experienced. But fine, okay. I won't tell anyone," Saul responded, and Jesse didn't think he would agree.

"You promise, yo?" 

"Sure, yo," Saul talking slang didn't suit him well, causing this to drag out a laugh from Jesse.

A void of quietness surrounded them. Jesse still wasn't sure what happened entirely, but he did grasp the fact that the whole thing, while, yes, embarrassing, made him feel a little better.

"G'night, Jesse," Saul breaks the sheet of tranquility, about to get off the line.

"Oh, shit, uh, hey can I run by your office tomorrow? It's kinda important, yo," Jesse managed to catch Saul before he could hang up.

"What, so you can jerk me off?"

"Oh, my god. Shut up, jerk wad."

"Yeah, why not?" Saul said with an exhausted voice. Jesse hummed with contentment. "See ya then."

"Okay, uh, night, I guess?" 

"Try not to think too hard about me being naked, kid," Saul laughed out.

"Fuck off."


End file.
